His Strength Is Perfect

It's been a rough summer.

It started the night before we were scheduled to move from our "perfect-for-us" rental house, whose owners where foreclosing, into a "better-than-adequate-but-not-what-I-want" apartment.

At 11:30 p.m. I got a text message that one of my best friends had experience uterine rupture, causing her unborn baby to fall into her stomach and lay there for over an hour, resulting in brain damage.

The next day we moved, without the help that we had expected, because they were all busy helping my friend and her family with babysitting, etc.

So, we moved in, but never really organized because I, too, became busy with helping my friend; organizing six weeks of daily dinner delivery and countless hours of babysitting for her two other children.

This was also the last week of school.

Then we had a week of camp meeting, with services night and day.

The following week my oldest went away to junior camp for a week.

The next week I found out that I'm preganant with baby number four.

Cue morning sickness and exhaustion (not that I didn't already have that thanks to a 1-year-old who sleeps only the bare minimum. If he sleeps past 5:30 in the morning, it's a miracle.)

Suffice it to say that all cleaning and organizing of our abode has been put aside in favor of simply surviving. If I managed to get dinner on the table, we had clean clothes to wear, and the living room got picked up once a day, I considered it a good day.

I didn't clean the bathroom for over a month.

When I walked past my kids' bedrooms, I just sighed and closed the door.

I've cried a lot of tears and wondered what on earth was I thinking to even consider having a fourth child. And in this economy, no less.

I've battled some serious depression and it's only the grace of God that has helped me.

I confessed all of this to my husband one day and added that I couldn't even find the wherewithal to pray. His response was "This too shall pass." The next day, however, he encouraged me to find even a little time to pray, to keep myself ready, to refresh myself.

Church was my sanctuary and the two minutes that I prayed some days was enough to pull me up and carry me on to another day.

Now the end of the summer has come. School starts August 31.

We have uniforms, though we are not starting out the school year with new shoes as we have in the past. Another sign of the times.

I have no school supplies purchased and will have to wait until next week to buy any.

The kids's rooms are messes and their desks are buried under there somewhere. I have a child who struggles with perceptual motor skills deficiency and having a messy room and absent desk is NOT conducive to a successful beginning of the school year.

So, I must get these rooms into shape. I have grand ideas of new organization and motivation for the kids if I can bolster enough energy to get it put together.

Last night I felt so despondent. I had no strength to go on and I felt naseous. My heart cried out to God for help and the words to a song filtered through my mind:

His strength is perfect, when our strength is gone.
He'll carry us when we can't carry on.
Raised in His power, the weak become strong.
His strength is perfect; His strength is perfect.

This is an old Steven Curtis Chapman song that I don't have in my collection, so I hopped on the internet and found it on Youtube. I turned in on, minimized the screen so I wouldn't be distracted by the video, and closed my eyes while the words washed over me. I cried. I prayed. I felt God's strength cover me. I thanked God for His perfect strength.

Today I woke up feeling better than I have in six weeks. I took advantage of it and got busy early. I got my sons' room completely cleaned and organized, and once I can get a few things in place, he will be completely ready for school.

We also got the house straightened up and vacuumed.

Tomorrow I will do my daughter's room.

I am so thankful for the Lord's strength. I believe He heard my humble cry and proved again that His strength is perfect.

Here is the link to the song. Minimize it so that you're not distracted by the video (I have no idea what it shows) and let God's strength help you today.